Best insulting lines written above a clock in exam hall.."Time will pass..will you?

LIKE if you know someone who needs a smack in the face with a shovel

Facebook is like a refrigerator. You get bored and keep checking, but nothing ever changes.

How come Mario can smash through bricks... yet he dies when he touches a freaking turtle!!!???

hello spider. stay spider. squish spider. dead spider.

When i was little i used to close the fridge door really slowly just to see when the light went out :)

Dettol kills 99.9% of germs. That 0.1% germ is a Legend.

"Hey".. "Hey" "You awake?".. No I taught myself to text in my sleep.

i dont hate you, its just... no, i hate you.

The best way to avoid disappointment is to not expect anything from anyone

When my phone rings, the only name I always want to see is yours

*Wake up in middle of night, look at clock* yes I still have time to sleep.

Coca Cola went to town, Diet Pepsi shot him down. Dr Pepper fixed him up, now we are drinking 7up. ;)

Visualising the path before turning off the lights

*logs in* *password incorrect* "OMG IM HACKED!!!!" "ohh wait caps lock is on" :)

if sleeping was a sport i would win gold in it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)

That Mini Heart attack when you miss a step on the stairs!

my eyes have stopped searching, because i can honestly say my heart has found exactly what its been looking for ♥

i dont know my friends address but i know exactly where their house is! :)

i remember, that time in 09 when if you got sick everyone yelled "SWINE FLU" lol